


La Douleur

by xo_marauders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abused Sirius Black, Angst, Child Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Sad Sirius Black, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 06:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21231299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/pseuds/xo_marauders
Summary: Blood dripped onto the crisp white snow, turning it a deep scarlet color, the contrast of it looking oddly beautiful to Sirius despite the fact that it was his blood creating such imagery.I have to get to James, I have to get to James…His thoughts were like a mantra replaying over and over in his head to keep him going, to keep him focused on where he was headed. But it was late, maybe even late enough to be early morning at that point, and his mind was beginning to become more and more fuzzy with each step.





	1. La Douleur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: child abuse   
stay safe

Blood dripped onto the crisp white snow, turning it a deep scarlet color, the contrast of it looking oddly beautiful to Sirius despite the fact that it was his blood creating such imagery.

He tore his gaze away from the ground and continued forward, his legs feeling quite numb at this point and his teeth chattering loudly, though the only thing he could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears. How he wished he could have at least grabbed his jacket…

_“Filth! Disgrace on my name!” _

Sirius flinched, the memory of his mother’s furious expression flashing through his mind followed quickly by a slap. Subconsciously, he brought his hand up to feel across the cut her ring had made on his cheek, idly wondering if he should be concerned that he couldn’t feel his fingers tracing it.

_“Fornicating with mudbloods! The absolute treachery!” _

That had made Sirius laugh. It was just so funny, really, that the reason his mother had gotten so worked up in the first place was because Lily Evans had written him a letter. He and Evans had become friends, sure, but the Lily was the last person Sirius would ever find himself ‘_fornicating_’ with, considering how much he liked to look at Remus instead of her—though he would never tell his parents that. Besides, he wouldn’t do that to James.

_“You are no son of mine.” _

Orion had punctuated every word with a kick to the ribs, his steel toed boots digging in sharply. Sirius was sure he had some broken bones as a result. It was the only thing that explained the pain he felt with each breath he took.

_“You’ll learn your lesson. You’ll learn not to disgrace this family! Crucio!” _

He had been told before what the cruciatus curse was supposed to feel like. They had studied in at Hogwarts in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. But experiencing it was a whole other story. It was as if every nerve in his body had been on fire. He hadn’t even realized that he was screaming until he felt the rawness of his throat afterward and the shakiness of his limbs as he collapsed to the floor.

_“Stop it! Stop it, you’re hurting him!”_

Regulus. He had left Regulus there. He’d left his little brother with those monsters. But how could he have stayed? They would’ve killed him, surely.

He wasn’t sure he would’ve cared if they had.

He couldn’t even remember how he got out. Everything went black after while. He had woken up outside, unsure if he had ran out the door himself or if his parents had simply thrown him onto the street. There were residual pains of the cruciatus curse running through his body and blood dripping from his chest as a result of his fathers whipping job. Not the mention the bruises he felt in all over his body.

He knew he had to leave. The December snow was falling heavily and the cold had started to freeze him up rapidly, but he walked anyway, determined to get as far away as possible.

_I have to get to James, I have to get to James…_

His thoughts were like a mantra replaying over and over in his head to keep him going, to keep him focused on where he was headed. But it was late, maybe even late enough to be early morning at that point, and his mind was beginning to become more and more fuzzy with each step.

“James…” He muttered, his eyes fluttering shut.

There was a twisting feeling in his stomach and suddenly he was falling into a familiar flower garden, knocking a pot over as he went before slipping into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry


	2. Se Soucier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: slight anxiety attack in the beginning of the chapter, implied child abuse

He woke with a start, sitting up quickly as the residual fear of his mother and father standing over him flashed through his mind. A pair of hands reached out to grip his shoulders.

“No! No! Don’t touch me!” He screeched, his voice pitched high and shaking slightly. The light around him was blinding, his eyes struggling to adjust as he threw his fists towards the person over him. It was a weak effort and his hand was quickly captured in another.

“Pads, it’s me, it’s me. It’s James.”

_James. _

And Sirius started sobbing. Sobbing because of the throbbing pain he felt in his body, because of the fact that he no longer had a family, and from the relief of making it to James.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you, you never have to go back.” James mumbled in his hair.

They sat there for awhile, neither one saying anything as Sirius exhausted himself out once more. His eyes began feeling droopy again and he felt as James gently pushed him back onto the bed he had awoken in.

“Here,” James said, reaching for a bottle of pepper up potion that was sat on the bedside table. “Drink this.”

Sirius took the potion and drank it quickly, feeling himself become less groggy. He was able to take in all of his injuries now, noticing the bandages across his chest and on his leg. There was a dull throbbing in the back of his mind, a lingering side affect from the cruciatus curse that he was far too familiar with.

“How did I—“

“You apparated here.” James said with a bit of admiration and horror in his voice. “Splinched yourself up real nice. Dad had to nearly regrow part of your leg.”

Sirius looked back down, his hand gently grazing across the wound. He must have been desperate for his magic to act so drastically.

James stared at his best friend and the bruises lining his neck and cuts across his flesh, feeling a surge of hatred toward the Black family. If he wasn’t so worried about leaving Sirius alone, he would’ve marched over to Grimmauld Place himself to show those bastards a lesson.

It had been a shock for James to wake up in the early morning to find his best friend passed out in his mother’s flower garden, bleeding out and looking like a corpse. James was sure he’d never be able to get that image out of his head again.

It was frustrating, too. Because James _knew_ how Sirius’ parents were and he should have done more to protect his friend. He should have taken him in the moment he found out about the abuse his friend had endured, but he didn’t because Sirius had insisted he was fine. James had known better. He should have done something sooner.

But he could do something now.

“Sirius,” James said, his voice solemn as he grabbed a hold of his friends hand and looked him straight in the eye. “I promise you that you will never go back there. You’ll stay here, with me and mum and dad and you’ll be cared for. I won’t let them hurt you ever again. I would rather die than let that happen.”

Sirius bit his lip, trying to hold back more tears that threatened to fall but his voice betrayed him by cracking as he spoke. “Thank you, Prongs.”

“Of course, Padfoot. Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading   
comments and kudos are always appreciated   
come chat with me on tumblr @ xomarauders


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